So I had a few weeks of just completely awful depression type feeling, but like I said, it didn’t really feel like any depression I’d had previously. Toward the end of it I got a call from my OB and my hcg was still at pregnancy level, 3 weeks post miscarriage. Not good. So they were worried that maybe they hadn’t removed everything during the d&c. It turns out, over a week later and lots of extra stress, that my hcg finally fell to zero on its own… so there was no problem with the surgery, just my body is struggling to deal with all he hormonal shifts happening.
Curiously enough, as the hcg finally fell to zero, the depression left…. and was replaced by extreme PMS irritability. LOL. Yep, hormones. Right now, I’m still not back to normal, but I’m so much better! Wow. I’m still cycling through the depressive hormones and the irritation hormones, and am trying really hard to remind myself not to take my emotions too seriously because they’re not even real. I feel kind of crazy, but I’m glad to recognize it for what it is. I’m sure eventually my body will even back out and be somewhat normal again. Each time I cycle through the depression/irritation thing, it is less severe… like it’s already dying off. I can feel myself getting there… just not there yet.
Right now I’m mainly just tired. I am having weird dreams and keep waking up at night… so I’m assuming my adrenals are struggling. I try to keep those under tight control, but I suppose with all the other hormones throwing a party, they were feeling left out.
Anyway, that’s about it. I’m sick to my stomach about everything that’s happening in the world right now. I can’t even watch the news without feeling like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. So much hate. So much evil. Do you ever feel like we’re living through the beginning of Revelations? LOL. Holy smokes. Definitely not helping my hormonal depression.