Bleeding Again

So this is your warning… this is a TMI post… seriously TMI here.

Every time we have s.ex I start bleeding. Not just spotting… full on period bleeding… like I need to wear a pad… and it lasts for about 3 days each time we “do it.”  I bleed a lot during pregnancy anyway, and it’s always scary, but this is just so scary to me. This morning I even have little clots in the blood. Trying not to freak out. But here’s the thing… we didn’t even have s.ex last night… I’ve been too scared to try it again, because I’ve read that the pen.etra.tion irritates the cervix and causes the bleeding… so last night we just “fooled around” if you get my meaning… and I still started bleeding hard and immediately. So is it just the org.as.m that is making me bleed??? That’s so weird! I’ve never heard of that before. But the O does cause contractions, so maybe??? 

And I’m on this super high dose of prog.esterone, and one side effect that I never knew is that it increases your libido like crazy… and it also makes your O super, super intense… like I’ve joked about wanting to take “this stuff” for the rest of my life, just because, WOW.  (See, really TMI here.) … Also my best friend is also on pro.gester.one right now, and she has experienced the same “side effect” so I know it’s not just me.  

Anyway, would that “intensity” be the culprit? Is my O just too strong, and causing problems? I remember when I was pregnant with my little girl, I started bleeding because I’d been crying (my dad had just passed away), and my OB told me I was crying too hard and it was irritating my uterus and causing contractions, and that if I couldn’t get it under control then I’d miscarry. So is this the same category? Am I doomed to be celibate for the first trimester… and during the whole time I could get that amazing O… or is it something else?

I don’t see the doctor again until Wednesday, and I don’t want to go in again for this… there’s nothing they can do either way. So for now, I’m choosing to stay away from all bedroom recreation… taking it really easy for a few days, going to put myself on semi-bed rest, because that’s always what the doctor says to do when I bleed, “just lie down for a few days and see if it will stop.” … and try not to think too  much about it.  I will ask the doctor on Wednesday, when he does the ultrasound to see if there’s a heartbeat… 

I really want this baby. And I really want to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I just want everything to be okay now, and start being “normal” so I can just be happy and confident and enjoy this special miracle. *breathe in, breathe out*

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