I’ve sort of been out of the loop lately. I have been reading blogs, but for some reason I can’t remember to comment on them. LOL. I think out a comment and mentally type it, and then get distracted and never actually do it. I can come back days or weeks later and realize that I never actually commented. I’ll try to be better.
Well things are getting better, I guess. Or just normal again. I’m not constantly depressed, although I get the occasional sharp pain. I’m still taking the new probiotic and watching what I eat… but I have had to take a break from the treadmill because of a joint injury. The tomato plants are growing very slowly, but still growing. And I planted my herb garden… or at least I planted the herbs that don’t come back every year… mainly basil. Most everything else that I grow comes back on its own.
I am having a lot of family drama. A lot. Mainly in-laws. Holy moley. In general, I am pretty lucky with the in laws I have. They aren’t psycho crazy, or anything horrible that you hear about… but there are times that they just go completely crazy on me, and this is one of those times. I’m going to avoid talking about it right now, other than to say that the whole fam damily ganged up to yell and/or cry at me for a full hour this weekend at a family gathering because I dared to say that I’d like to do family dinners only every other month, since once a month with my health is a difficult thing right now. Not even asking them to change what they’re doing, just letting them know not to freak out if we start missing some. Cue tears and screaming accusations of “you don’t love/like us!” “You don’t care about family at all!” “It’s your own choice if you want to be selfish enough to keep your children away from their cousins!” And then descending into everything that I’ve ever done or said that has ever offended anyone. An hour of being beaten down. Yep, that really made me feel like I want to go to more of these stupid family dinners. I am so done.
So my last thing here is that I’m torturing myself. Not intentionally… but my body has been acting like it did during the fertility treatments. All the same symptoms and pains at all the same times. I’m trying not to hope, but it almost seems like my body is trying to be fertile again. I don’t know how long it will last, or if anything will come of it. Maybe my body just got into the habit of ovulating and it will take some time to get back to “normal” of only ovulating once a year? LOL. But here I am, like a fool, hoping again. When I know I shouldn’t hope for anything at all. But there it is. I’m not telling anyone, just trying to be in denial of the fact that I’ve stupidly allowed hope to enter back into my brain. *sigh*
Anyway, that’s it for now. Gotta go and make sure dinner isn’t burning. Toodles.