I had a progesterone blood test today… just to be overly cautious, since I sometimes have low values there… I needed to be “at least 10” and I was at 26.51… Yay! That means for sure I ovulated… which we knew really, but still nice to have things be on the good side of normal. 🙂 It also means that my levels are nice and high, so that if any eggs were fertilized… and if any of those fertilized eggs decide to try and implant… then there is sufficient progesterone to sustain them until they can produce enough hcg to take care of themselves. All good things. Letting myself have a little sigh of relief. Still hoping for a good outcome this cycle.
My sister in law had her baby today. They thought they were done… we all did… they don’t have infertility, just they were done. Their youngest is now 8, and this is a surprise baby. Not sure why that makes it sting for me… just that it’s so easy for other people that even when they don’t want it, it still happens for them. Anyway, I’ve been trying to be happy for her… and really I am very happy for them… but also sad for me. I was prepared to be texted a picture or details, whatever, or even to get a phone call from them, see the caller id and put on my happy face… Instead they put it on fb, which is fine, except I wasn’t prepared to see it… emotionally I wasn’t prepared. So I sat and cried for a while… had a little self pity party… and then called to congratulate them. She’s precious, and only just 5lbs… I’ve never had a baby that small… she is so tiny. Anyway, I’m trying to reign back in my jealousy… because it doesn’t help anything. I can be sad for me, and happy for them… really I can do it. Just struggling with it right now. I don’t want to become one of those bitter infertiles who hates everyone just for having babies… I don’t want to become that. Suck it up! Everyone has struggles, and all of them are difficult. Don’t be angry just because their struggles are different than yours.
So I can officially start testing on Sunday morning. And you can bet your sweet patootie that I’m going to do it… every morning until Wednesday… Wednesday, the 7th, is the blood hcg test… it is also my birthday. 38. I’d love to have an early birthday present of a bfp on Sunday morning. LOL. Yeah, we’ll see… that’s only 11dpo. Possible, but not probable… even if I’m pregnant (ooh, that just gives me shivers to even say out loud)… even if I am, it is highly unlikely that it would show up that early. Still, the fertility clinic said I can start testing Sunday… so that’s all the encouragement I need. 🙂 I have a 3 pack of hpt’s already next to my toilet, just waiting. If I get a bfp before Wednesday, then I can go in for an early blood test to confirm. That would be awesome! Just try not to get too discouraged if they all come back negative… either way, I’ll know for sure by Wednesday night if it worked.
This is either going to be the best birthday ever, or the worst… praying for it to be the best birthday… and maybe even a little early. 🙂 Encouraged by the good progesterone values today… but still guarded emotionally…. cautiously optimistic. Oh please, please work!!!