BFN

So yeah, I tested this morning. BFN. I was so sure it would be positive! I know I always think that, but this time is no exception. Not giving up hope yet, but I still hate seeing just one stinking line. 

I’ve been breaking out like crazy all week. I never break out, and it took me until last night to realize that I always break out in pregnancy. So, I think that had me totally expecting a positive this morning… I even dreamed about getting a positive and what happened the rest of today. LOL. Sad. 

So now I wait. Right? LOL. I should wait to test until at least Monday. Still there’s a tiny voice in my head that tells me that I’ll be at the grocery store today anyway and I might as well pick up another pack of tests… then I could test daily… I’d have to sneak it in because the hubby would be irritated… well more like he’d roll his eyes at me. I just can’t stand it. I think this is it… not sure if it’s because of the sudden acne, or just because I want it so badly. 

And just to be clear, nobody on this blog feels invasive about testing. LOL. It’s mainly family… I know they want to help and support. I just wish they’d wait until I told them… instead of calling/texting several times a day demanding information. It’s just a little too much. I guess it’s our own fault for telling them, but at the beginning of the treatments we told the family and held a family fast… a special prayer where you don’t eat for a day as you focus on the prayer… So they all know, and they all want to be continually updated. Yes, with dates of insemination and all… in fact they demand to know what TIME all of my appointments are scheduled for, and then they call ME to find out how EVERY appointment went, usually before I’ve even gotten home yet… or even had time to tell my husband yet. I just want a little space from it is all. I am grateful for their support and prayers… but really…. they are super easy to offend, and it’s not worth a big drama. So I’m just being more wishy washy with my answers now. I know they are just trying to help. I really do know that. It’s just so personal and painful and emotional… it’s hard to have it all out in the open like that. Anyway, I’ll update here with every little thing possible, because this is my safe place. 🙂 

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One thought on “BFN

  1. This is 4th time I checked your blog today. Don’t keep us in suspense :). I am going to assume you got a positive and are too exited and preoccupied with the news that you forgot to update us 🙂

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