I’m getting anxious! LOL. My bbs are killing me, a little more every day… unless I’m imagining things which is totally possible because that’s what I do. Also I’ve spent the last couple days with increasing amounts of … not real nausea, more like just queazy and wanting to lie down… plus super tired. Super tired. 

It all sounds so good on paper, but I think I have these exact same symptoms every cycle… right? So I’m not sure that they are of any real significance… but I’d like to pretend that they are. Still hoping….

So the first day I can test is Saturday. And the first day the doctor will do a blood test is Tuesday. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I mean, I want to test right away, but last cycle was brutal. Since everyone and their dog knows that we’re doing these fertility treatments (by that I mean just family and close friends, lol) everyone calls and texts me wanting to know if I have symptoms, or when I’m going to test, and what the results are. Seriously last time, it was hard enough to see a negative test, but far worse to know that I’d have to call/text at least 5 different people to tell them, pretend to be okay about it, and answer them when they asked when I’d test again… only to have to repeat the entire process a few days later. Brutal. I’m just not up for that again this time…. I’m not sure what will change. Will I wait to test? Or will I just not tell anyone that I’m testing? Or some combination of the 2? 

So far, I’ve managed to tell everyone that I’m not testing until the blood test on Tuesday. I don’t think that anyone really believes me, but I honestly can’t handle calling and telling everyone the results… or having them call me if I haven’t called them soon enough. Ugh. Nice to have support, but this isn’t support, it’s invasive. LOL. 

I’m debating between testing Saturday and testing Sunday. Of course Saturday makes sense, because it’s sooner, and because I only have two tests left… so if I get a BFN I can wait a day and test again Monday… and then blood test Tuesday. But Sunday also makes sense because it’s more likely to be accurate, just because it’s an extra day… and if it’s a BFN I can do another test the very next day on Monday… and then a blood test on Tuesday. LOL. Trying to keep myself from buying another test. Really, two pee sticks and a blood test should be enough, right??? I think I have an addiction. 🙂


2 thoughts on “9dpo

  1. I’ll be thinking of you and just lay low until I hear from you. I think people don’t want to abandon you in your sadness if it isn’t good news and obviously we all want to jump for joy with you if its a positive.

    The tired thing rings true to my most recent experience as the first and most blatant symptom. I hope you are experiencing pregnancy-induced exhaustion. Thoughts and prayers are with you!

  2. I’m always a multiple/every day tester, which led to a sadness/hope torture cycle. To save on costs I usually went with the $1 test, which aren’t sensitive enough, leading to the above mentioned cycle. I have a love/hate with support too. Sometimes you want to talk and others you don’t. I would have lie about what infertility tests I was having done. I just don’t think my private husband wants his sisters/mom (because nothing is confidential when you talk to one sister and his mom is a retired nurse) knowing when the semen sampling was happening and how it went. Haha. Still praying for you and will wait silently to know how it goes. In the wait time, take a nap, that is my solution for everything.

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