I’ve made several changes this past week. Hopefully they will all turn out to be changes for the better.
First of all, I dyed my hair red! I’ve wanted to do it for ages, but am always too scared. It’s really very bright. Maybe too bright. I posted a pic on fb that is totally NOT how it looks… but I had to post a picture because people knew I was getting it done and wanted to see. So I took a picture in our dark and gloomy bathroom to help tone down the crazy. Seriously, my eyebrows (which were dyed to match) they are like crazy old clown lady eyebrows right now. lol. I’m hoping they really tone down asap… but if not my hairdresser will fix them for free… I’m not going out in public for a few days anyway, so we’ll just see what a few washes do to my look…
So homeschooling… I love it. I can’t say that enough… but the school I found that I thought I loved and their curriculum that I thought was so inspired… yeah not so much anymore. The thing is that they set an incredibly high standard. Their ideas and focus are amazing… their execution, content, and actual ability… not so much… they just don’t live up to what they say they are. The curriculum is woefully inadequate. I’m kind of pissed about it. I mean, a full curriculum is a lot of money and time invested. And it’s substandard enough that I’m going to change mid-year… because otherwise this will just be a full wasted year. Grrr. The good news is that I’ve found what I’m hoping (and praying) will be a much better alternative. It’s a curriculum from a private Christian school back East that has really good reviews and results. And they start teaching Latin in 2nd grade! How amazing is that! 🙂 I mean, I start teaching Latin in 2nd grade. lol. I’m very excited and hoping this is the right move. Once again I’ve done hundreds of hours of research online into different curriculum options… but the thing is… there is just no way to know until you have it in your home and are looking at it and using it daily. You can’t know how good or bad it is until you personally try to use it. So fingers crossed. I can’t keep spending this kind of money on curriculum and starting over again and again. I know there’s a bit of a learning curve here for me, but I would just like to not make so many mistakes starting out.
And lastly, I have been taking an herbal supplement for fertility and hormonal issues. It’s called V.it.ex and I’m hoping it will help me. If you search engine it, I’m a dead ringer for everything it says it helps. And with my health, I really can’t afford to do full fertility treatments again… they really mess with my autoimmune disease. So I’m hoping this will be gentle enough on my health, but still give me the desired results. I want another baby so badly that I just have no way to describe it. And the other day, cleaning up from Thanksgiving dinner alone in the kitchen, “our song” came on. The one that got me through my last bad miscarriage. The song for the baby I lost. I can’t believe how hard it hit me. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry… relatives there and all. lol. “Close your eyes and try to sleep now. Close your eyes and try to dream… We can’t begin to know it, how much we really care. I hear your voice inside me. I see your face everywhere. Still you say We BELONG. We belong to the light. We belong to the thunder. We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under. Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong. We belong. We belong together.” Oh Pat Ben.at.ar, you complete me. 🙂