In an effort to NOT suck at blogging so badly, here’s a quick takes post… just so I can say that I blogged today. 🙂
1. 9dpo, up a full degree from ovulation day. Totally nauseated. All completely normal. *rolls eyes* I hate the 2ww. Still, here’s hoping.
2. Went to the dentist yesterday to “get a crown.” And instead ended up being tortured for 3 hours by an inept (and new) assistant, even after she knew the shots had worn off and I told her I was not numb, in pain, and fully nauseated. She still continued to plod along and do whatever she darn well felt like, however brutally. (Probably not brutally for someone who was still numb, but for feeling everything, yeah it sucked.) I actually considered getting up and running away without the new tooth… but I stayed. And I didn’t get the new tooth anyway. Their crown didn’t work out well, so I now have to wait 3 weeks for the lab to make a nice one and I’m stuck looking ugly and having to be careful I don’t break the temporary… which the rock lobster of a tech couldn’t even get to glue in correctly. She finally said, “well if it falls out, just fill it with toothpaste and stick it back on until you can get back in here.” I almost punched her in the throat. Seriously.
3. My favorite tomatoes, Mr. Stripey, that I wait for all year…. yeah, they sent me the wrong seeds. I have three 6ft tomato plants full of nasty orange tomatoes. And they’re totally gross. And no Mr. Stripeys. Sad. Gotta wait another full year.
4. The school year is coming so fast! Where has summer gone? I spend all my free time reading through curriculum and trying to get organized and get lesson plans up and going. Oy. I am immensely grateful to be homeschooling this year! But it is a bit daunting at time. Want to make sure I give my children every advantage possible, and I need hardly add that means working my tail off. 🙂
5. I’m kind of really sick of being the “bad guy” in my family. I want to look my sister in the eye and say “I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to help you anymore because I can’t always be the perpetrator so you can play victim.” Harsh, yeah. And I’ll never have enough balls to say it… because really, it wouldn’t help anything. And I am trying very hard to keep any family ties I have left. But it just hurts, you know. To constantly reach out and have my hand bitten in return. I’m to the point of wondering if I should stop trying. Not be all bitchy and mean, like “screw you guys! go to hell!” … although I feel that way sometimes… but just more of “I respect myself more than to allow you to treat me like this. So when you’re ready to be an adult and interact with me on a more sane level, then give me a call… until then, I’m out.” And at this point, it’s really just about stupid things… but stupid things with a long history. Like the last time they all “disowned me” (for going on a date with a guy that asked me out, when I “should have known” that this sister had a crush on him???) and they’d all run to get to the car and take off really quickly so I’d be stranded and have to go alone, or they’d pretend we were in a bad teen movie and they’d make sure there wasn’t enough room at the table for me to sit with them at a restaurant. And nobody would talk to me, silent treatment from the whole family. Yeah, at this point it’s stuff in line with that. And I’m just sick of it. I always try to stay calm and keep trying, because family is important. Family is eternal. But I’m tired of being treated like this. Calling her out on it would, I think, only cause more drama and problems… because she’s obviously not able/willing to face it in a mature manner… so I’m thinking just cut them all off… or at least drop all communication. I’m the only one who calls or makes an effort anyway. So I’m thinking I could just stop making any effort at all. Be nice when they ever decide to contact me. But just, I’m done. I’m so tired of being treated like this. Not answering calls, not calling me back, agreeing to do activities together and then standing me up with no notice or apology and still not answering phone calls. Yeah. I think I’m done. It’s just that I feel such a responsibility about the importance of families. I feel guilty for not “trying everything” or for “giving up.” Or whatever. Ugh. I don’t know. I’ll have to decide when I’m not all hormonal and bitchy.
Yeah, so um, sorry this quick takes turned into pms-ville. LOL. On a bright note, we might be taking the kids to the dinosaur museum today… 🙂 Yay! That will be so fun! Have a wonderful Friday my lovelies.