Well, I guess I owe everyone a big thank you! For supporting me. For listening. For understanding… Just thank you. And I didn’t email anyone individually because I’ve just had WAY too crazy of a week. Such as yesterday where I spent the morning in the dentist’s chair to get my post root canal crown, had a severe reaction to the numbing shots and went home to relax (really it was bad enough that they called me again today to make sure I was okay still and not at the hospital with a reaction or something, LOL)… when I got home I found my mom had just gotten back from having her face tattooed (old lady make up, LOL, really it’s nice… but if you know us in real life, it is a total SECRET!!!! So Shhhhhhhh!) and was in significant pain and trying not to throw up or pass out. So I took care of her until I could get her in bed, then my 6 year old started crying about his stomach hurting, and he ends up puking the night away. Blergh. And that’s pretty much similar to how things have been going lately. So I apologize for not getting back to you all. I really do appreciate all the support and advice!!!
So the long and short of it is that my mom can’t sell the house for a couple more years, regardless of any improvements or market changes. Because my parents used the house as a rental for 30+ years, and you get a tax break for having a rental property… once you sell that property you have to PAY BACK ALL of the tax breaks you ever took out on the rental, UNLESS you live there for (I think it’s) 5 years straight to make it your official residence again. So even if she made a crapload on the sale… which would be virtually impossible in this market, with the house in its current condition… she would still owe big money to the government because she hasn’t lived in it long enough yet…. That’s really boring and I hope it makes sense. Basically, she’s stuck for a few more years.
SOOOOOO…. as of right now…. We are planning on staying here to help my mom out as much as possible UNTIL she can sell the house. We are hoping to be able to fund (and do the labor for) a few updates and renovations (read kitchen and bathroom remodels) that would help her make a better profit on it whenever she does sell it… while at the same time trying to pay our full rent AND save up money for a down payment on a house of our own one day in the future. *sigh* We won’t do anything fancy here, but the house is really in need of repair and updating. Just going with basic, low end, but still new upgrades… would really help her be able to sell this for a profit.
So with that end in mind… we’re trying to NOT think about this as our home… rather we’re now trying to think of it as our project to help my mom. (Though we will never say that out loud to anyone. It would really cause family drama.) It’s HER home, and we’re living here to help her get on her feet. As soon as that happens, all of us will pull out and go our separate ways. I love my mom and I will actually be VERY sad to not just have her downstairs to call on for wisdom, advice, and just plain friendly company. But it is SO difficult to deal with the rest of my family like this. What I would really love is to buy a house somewhere that still has a “mother in law” basement apartment, and make her move with us at no charge. Then I don’t lose her company, but it’s OUR house and the rest of my family can go take a hike. Ah, but I’m dreaming.
Anyway, we’re still praying that my sister pulls through with her own house so that none of this comes crashing down on us. But even if everything is okay with this particular situation, it has definitely brought to our attention the precarious nature of our living here… and regardless of what does or doesn’t happen with my sister…. we are here just to help my mom get on her feet, help to get the house up to par and sold…. then we are planning on moving AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE after we know my mom is set and okay.
And still… I don’t know if ever want my family to visit or not. That’s awful. I know it’s awful, but it’s true. I need some autonomy and space and freaking respect from them. A family reunion at a resort somewhere I would love to do… just so that it’s NOT in my home (or anyone else’s), and so that we all have SEPERATE living quarters to escape and do our own thing when necessary. So I don’t want to cut my family off forever… but I do want to keep them out of my home and life. LOL. That’s still bad. I hope I don’t burn in hell for it. 😉 Maybe one day we’ll be a “normal” dysfunctional family…